


Breathe Deep

by Froggiespit



Category: Critical Role (Web Series)
Genre: And guess what? Fjord loves him too, Caduceus loves Fjord so much, Fantasy Weed, M/M, Marijuana, Shotgunning, THIS IS ALL THE DISCORD'S FAULT, Teahaw, fjorclay
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-22
Updated: 2020-05-22
Packaged: 2021-03-03 00:23:54
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,348
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24315748
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Froggiespit/pseuds/Froggiespit
Summary: Caduceus does some Pain Management. Fjord learns what it means to breathe as one.
Relationships: Caduceus Clay/Fjord
Comments: 11
Kudos: 126





	Breathe Deep

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this in like an hour and it isn't beta'd so if there's mistakes, just know it's because I was writing fanatically.
> 
> Big, big thanks to the fjorclay discord for throwing this idea into existence. Real big brain shit.

“I’ll stay up with you, Cad.” Fjord whispers with an awakening yawn. 

“Oof! Thank you, Fjord. I’m tapped out!” Jester sighs through a stretch and groans when a joint pops.

“Yeah, you get some rest. You deserve it.” Fjord smiles tightly and gives her a squeeze on her more healed shoulder. 

Jester hardly walks towards her bedroll, rather she crawls on her knees and quickly tucks herself into the crook of Beau’s arm. The monk shuffles with a sleepy sound and pulls her closer to her chest to tangle her hand in her hair. 

“How are you feeling?” Fjord speaks lowly, letting his back rest against the cool rock of the cave wall. Caduceus lets his head roll back against the stone to match Fjord’s, turning to meet him. The soft, velvet of his face is dyed pink in places where the blood stood too long and he looks  _ exhausted _ . Still, he smiles in that relaxed way that Fjord tries to convince himself is only for him. 

“My knee isn't good today. It aches deep right here” He drags his finger along the inner side of his leg.

Fjord frowns, but hovers his hand over the knot of bone. 

“I can help.”

“No no, you did enough of that today. You’ll exhaust yourself.” Caduceus speaks through a smile and straightens his posture, pulling his bag onto his lap. The woven pouch opens wide when Caduceus’ fingers unlace the eyelets and he wastes no time slipping a hand inside to dig around. He squints in the low light of the embers at the mouth of the fire. Fjord doesn’t necessarily snoop, but he already knows that the pouch is where he keeps his incense. As familiar as he thinks himself to be, it surprises Fjord when Caduceus pulls out a thin, rolled cigarette.

“Are we communing?”

“Huh? Oh! No, this is just something that helps the pain on bad days. Do you care if I smoke this?” Caduceus motions with the cigarette, raising a brow.

“Don’t let me stop you. What is it you insist on everyone doing? Self care?”

“Ah, yeah I do that don’t I? Thank you, Fjord.”

Caduceus raises a bit onto his knees, kneeling at the edge of the ember-pit so he can light the end of the roll. The second the end burns hot, he brings it to his mouth and takes a few quick drags. Fjord can’t help but watch the ritual with awe, wearing that slight smile he always does when Caduceus is focused on something. They share the quiet for a while, legs overlapping and Fjord leaning into Caduceus’ bony shoulder. They’d grown closer over the past month or so, and soon meditating side by side became practically cuddling as they do. Of course, there hasn’t been much time to discuss what that means for the two of them or whether or not it is something they want to pursue, but then again nobody has pushed the other away. 

Fjord remembers kissing Caduceus once after meditating in front of him. How he had kept opening his eyes to catch glimpses of Caduceus’ lips moving around the words to a silent prayer. The world seemed to slow around them and before he could act as if nothing had occurred, Caduceus’ eyes fluttered open to catch him in the act. Fjord tried to apologize, to stumble across an excuse, but Caduceus simply cupped his cheek with the softest palm Fjord has ever felt. He truly didn’t intend on kissing him that night, or at all, but soon enough he was. The soft press of nervous lips hangs heavy in his memory and Fjord can’t help but want to lean in even now. 

By this point, Caduceus is reaching the middle of the roll, and Fjord can practically see the tension melt from the slope of his shoulders. 

“What’s it like?”

“It’s nice. It’s like feeling light and heavy at once. Floating. It makes the pain go away too.”

“Is it just for pain?”

Caduceus makes a noncommittal sound and a matching ‘so-so’ motion with his hand. 

“Mmmmm no...It’s not all medicinal. I’m sure everyone could benefit in one way or another. It’s herbs, you know? So really there’s no harm done.”

“Could I try it?”

Caduceus doesn’t even answer him, rather he just holds the blunt out for him to take. 

It seems pretty self-explanatory, but as nervous as he is, he eyes Caduceus out of comfort. That lazy smile. The slight illumination of his features in the firelight, it’s both the most exciting and yet calming thing he has ever seen. 

Fjord takes that first drag and the sweet swirl of smoke fills his chest. It’s so unlike the cold slosh of water and yet nothing comparable to the warmth of the Wildmother filling that cavern of his chest. 

There's a tickle in the depth of his throat. Fjord’s lungs spasm, his eyes go wide, and a cough rumbles through him. He coughs again and again, tears gathering in his lashes.

“Aw, I should’ve helped you, I’m sorry” Caduceus soothes, patting his back in time with each cough, eventually smoothing his shirt out when they subside. 

“Good  _ God _ does it always do that?” Fjord speaks through shaky breaths. 

Caduceus laughs deep, like honey, and shakes his head.

“When you first start, I guess. I remember one time Calliope had to calm me down because I coughed too hard. I think maybe you jumped into it a bit too soon.”

There's another comfortable silence, where Caduceus takes the blunt back and Fjord focuses his sleepy eyes on the swirl of smoke above their heads. Caleb shifts in his sleep. Yasha snores. Fjord's hand finds its way into Caduceus’ palm.

“I think maybe I have an idea. If you still wanted to try it, there’s no push.” Caduceus exhales, smiling.

“Yeah?” Fjord muses.

“Here, close your eyes. Yeah--good. Now, breathe for me okay?” 

Fjord smiles at the sincerity in his voice, letting his eyes fall shut like when they pray. Spending time like this with Caduceus always feels almost like prayer in a way.

Caduceus brings the roll to his lips and breathes deep, smoothing his thumb over the scarred skin of Fjord’s upper lip. A slight press, and Fjord parts his lips with a shudder when Caduceus gently grips his jaw. Fjord’s heart thuds in every drop of blood in his veins, and for a brief moment he nearly opens his eyes. There’s a soft press of lips onto his own, slowly parting to slot flush against Fjord’s own. He jumps a little on impact but soon finds his hands moving up to slide through the growth of Caduceus’ undercut. The kiss is like any other, until the smoke finds its way into his lungs. The burn is less present this time and the smoke almost tastes sweeter with the kiss. After a long moment of lingering brushes of lips, Caduceus pulls away, his eyes cast down to watch the stretch of smoke between them. It’s like a bridge between their hearts, or at least it’s what he hopes for them. Fjord’s exhale comes quicker this time, mostly because he’s too preoccupied with chasing after another kiss. Caduceus couldn't care less about the rest of the blunt at this point and drops it.

Caduceus meets him halfway, gently easing himself forward onto his lap in an attempt to pull him closer. Shared breaths become shared gasps and muffled groans as the two fall into a messy rhythm between their hips. Caduceus breaks the kiss when Fjord’s palms drift from his hips to the curve of his thigh.

“Fjord--”

“Mm?”

“I don’t want to have sex.”

“Okay, yeah, okay. Sorry.” Fjord’s hands drop from the grip on his thighs, but even sooner than they leave Caduceus replaces them. 

“I want to...with you. I just want it to be special, you know? Not in a wet cave.” Caduceus teases, giving him a little shove. “Wait for me?”

Fjord kisses the tip of his nose and another laugh rumbles in Caduceus’ chest. 

“Always.


End file.
